My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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