I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
