2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize