No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize