did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
