I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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