hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
