I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize