he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
