I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I intend to get homeless drunk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
