I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
