eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
