drinking out of a sandbucket again
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
