I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize