i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
