theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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