mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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