at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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