All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
the raccoons are back...
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