sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
