I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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