Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
