I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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