Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
