I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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