sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
