I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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