Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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(904): View more from Florida

i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.

(904): View more from Florida

Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again

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(719): View more from Colorado

The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.

(719): View more from Colorado

This has been a Party Success Story

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(616): View more from Michigan

my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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(248): View more from Michigan

Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man

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(917): View more from New York City

I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went

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(770): View more from Georgia

Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.

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