hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize