Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
