if i can run in heels then i can drive
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
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