I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
