My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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