Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
