everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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