Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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