is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
