Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize