Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Randomize
