You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
