he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
