Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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