He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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