I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i barfeds in our rink
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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