I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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