spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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