Small penises have feelings too.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
