the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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