For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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