I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize