YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
