I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize