Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
