maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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