Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize