Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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