I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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