I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i came on her dog
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
