Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
