Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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