no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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