I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
